The Zombie Apocalypse Has Arrived

The Zombie Apocalypse Has Arrived

How do you plan to survive a Zombie Apocalypse? There are many things people seem to forget when being faced with this sort of scenario. For some reason people only ever seem to think short term and go straight for the guns, and store to get food then head to the top of the tallest building they can find, and then think that they’re gonna live forever.

Although I can semi see the logic in it, I also see the bigger picture, guns attract the horde and ammo runs out quickly, and with no exit strategy what happens when you run out of ammo, and the horde have made their way up to the top of the building, I’ll tell you what happens, you die, they’ll grab a hold of you, clamp their teeth into your soft flesh, and rip chunks out of you, blood splurging everywhere. So to stop you making this silly, silly mistake and dying in such a gruesome way, here is my survival guide.

First off, I’d be packing my bergan, poncho, sleeping bag, emergency first aid kit and my trusty Kukhri (see image below), as well as some clothes and tinned food (it’s in a tin, so never really goes off) and my zippo lighter, I’d then be figuring out if my girlfriend  was infected; If yes, she’s dead, if not drag her ass along with me (in for the long haul remember, got to repopulate one day).

The essentials to me are now pretty much covered, however a trip to a camping store for a folding shovel is also required (dual useage). I have a weapon, a way to stay dry, a change of clothes, food, company and a way to repopulate the Earth. Now however, we need to start thinking;

Do I really want to be getting up close and personal with these guys; bottom line, no, but if I have to I will. As any zombie game or film has shown us, anything can be used as a weapon, so use it, yeah guns are great but unless I can find a black market gun dealer and an infinite supply of ammo it’s not gonna happen.

You can generally move faster than a zombie, so don’t be afraid to loop them a few times… I think it was the film Zombieland that stated one of the rules was cardio, and I’m inclined to agree, if they can’t run get a head start on them.

Setting up base camp; Initially I’d always be moving (unless sleeping). No where is deemed particularly safe, so why stay there. A vehicle at this point is also important, preferably a 4*4 but, this is all dependant on if people tried to flee their villages and towns. I mean what goods a car if your gonna get blocked in. So a motorbike would do as an alternative, preferably, a motor-cross one, why? because it can cover different terrain.

At no point am I being hauled up in a building, so when am I going to sleep? Being ex forces, I’m no stranger to sleeping outside. This is where the bike takes me into countryside (with reserve fuel), I dig a hole, set up my poncho over it, and get my head down. At no point will lights, or flames be used once it starts to get dark, and noise will be kept to a minimum (it travels further at night).

The bottom line here is somewhere may be safe initially but staying on land is never going to keep you safe 100%

The Group; I use the term “group” loosely, so far it’s just me and the girlfriend. With any luck we would come across other survivors, now as stubborn as this may sound, they only way they’d be allowed to join my group/journey is if they agree to it. I’m not risking my life because someones joined and then decided they don’t like the plan. They will be informed of it, and if they don’t like it tough, it’s my way or the highway.

Upon establishing a party of survivors, what happens if someone needs medicine, or someone gets lost whilst moving between locations? To me this is a no brainer, leave them. Unless we have the medical supplies where we are, it’s not worth risking a number of people to save one person. Some may think of it as a “dick” move but, like I said everyone is informed of the plan before they join the group. These rules also apply to me, if I’m in need people best not be getting medication for me, and if I get lost, they best keep going.

Prejudices: One of the main things that’s going to drive this group apart are peoples prejudices, sexual orientation, colour, religion etc. These all need to go out the window, If people want to be a part of the group they have to accept people for being black, white, pink, purple or orange. If they decide to worship, God, Allah or the fairy god mother, or someone wants to have some nookie nookie with someone of the same sex, I don’t care, now is not the time to be bitching about it.


Tasks: The more people in the group the longer it will take to get to my objective. To this end tasks will have to be divided throughout the group. Rota’s for keeping watch (2 at a time, hour each, rotated every half an hour (gives fresh eyes)) at night, and one during sunlight (when everyone is preparing food etc).

What next? Ok so now I’ve been running around aimlessly for hours/days/weeks or longer? Wrong. I’m heading for a dock, somewhere where I can get a boat. The reasons behind this are logical, zombies can’t swim (or so we’re lead to believe and can’t in this case), so if your on a boat, they aren’t surrounding you. The plan here is, get a boat… get an island, a small one, some where like Gibralter would be ideal. Its small (2.6 sq miles) and only 30,000 inhabitants (or more than likely infected people) which means less chance of being attacked by the infected.

With any luck the outbreak wouldn’t have stretched there but if it has, eventually the infected will die, you just need to ensure you have anchored off far enough out that they can’t get you, and only return when you need re-supplies. My recommendation initially, just get fishing equipment and eat fish to survive, grab the odd bottles of water, and other soft drinks (uncarbonated), if your unable to get any bottled drinks, set up something to catch the rain, or set up a system to make the sea water drinkable (long process but once set up will save your life), as a final resort drink your own urine, to stop you from dehydrating (only do this once every 24 hours).

Once its safe, or the zombies are all dead, then you have a perfect location to start again, surrounded by water, no more infected can get to you, ready supply of food (or at least fish) and whats more, its a sunny location, work on that tan, and repopulating the earth.

Do: Think fast, have a plan, be prepared, become unattached to anyone/everything you’ve ever known and loved (it’ll save your life).

Don’t: Look back… ever, waste time, try and be a hero (if in doubt, get the fudge out), waste time trying to find guns as ammo will run out eventually, never go upstairs, or to the top of buildings (no exits).

So that’s my survival guide, feel free to let us know how you’d survive such an event, or if you’d change any of the above, who knows sharing your ideas with the world now, could save people in the future. Remember to follow me on Twitter @Butty578 and be sure to keep coming back to see the new content added to the site.


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